Freedom is untidy

[Warning, this post contains a lot of explicit language...]

I just found out today that my brother-in-law was killed in Iraq.

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

All that keeps running through my head is Donald Rumsfeld sneering and shrugging and saying "freedom is untidy."

The same freekin' asshole who shook Saddam Hussein's hand not quite 20 years earlier.

Un-fucking-tidy? That's what he calls people having their brains blow out and limbs flying off everywhere? Like they are just crumbs someone forgot to wipe off the counter?

Fuck him.

Fuck the assholes who killed my brother-in-law.

Fuck this damn war and any war.

Yes, I am grateful for the enormous sacrifice my brother-in-law made -- and that my sister and her son have made -- when called to. I will pray for his soul, for my sister and three-year-old nephew, for myself that I will always allow love and forgiveness to triumph over hate and bitterness.

But today I'm angry. And very sad.

Lord have mercy.

Dahr Jamail:This is our Guernica

Dahr Jamail:This is our Guernica

I've been meaning to add Dahr Jamail to my list of links/blogs and thanks to an Iraqi woman on our Middle East Studies listserv here at Portland State, I got this article in my email box today reminding me once again to add him and tell as many people as possible to read his website.

Every since Margaret Hassan was killed I've been having a hard time reading anything about Iraq. It always makes me cry. Just typing these last few sentences has made me start to tear up. Yes there were elections and there's even a hint that perhaps things will settle down eventually. But it's a dubious hint and in the meantime, things are still pretty shitty there, as Mr. Jamail describes -- quite poignantly at times.

And so I continue to pray for peace. I've found the daily prayer for peace at the Orthodox Peace Fellowship website helpful and perhaps you might also.

Seeing the pope in a whole new way

Seven Mountains: A Photography Post

Right, I just *had* to post a link to this picture of our new pope over at a new blog I just discovered, Seven Mountains (geesh my blog list is getting long!). Absolutely without a doubt the best picture of him I've ever seen. I said in my comments about the papal funeral that then Cardinal Ratzinger's eyes always sort of give me the creeps (not exactly sure why), but in this picture he looks downright warm and fuzzy.

His election has put me in that all-too-familiar place smack in the middle between the glee of the conservatives I go to church with and the horror of the liberals I hang out with. And even among those liberal Catholics, I find I'm in the middle there as well. Some are waiting, hoping that he'll turn out to actually be more liberal now that he's not having to play the bad guy as Prefect of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith. Others are certain the apocalypse (well, if liberals actually believed in it) is at hand.

You know what folks? The sky is not falling but I have no expectations that the new pope is going to lighten up on, say, homosexuality or contraception anytime soon. He's the same ol' same ol' basically. And we all survived John Paul II and were indeed helped by his strong stands against war, as we have been and will be by Pope Benedict's. As Talmida over at The Lesser of Two Weevils (another brilliant blog added to the list) pointed out, the first pope, Peter, denied Christ three times and he still got the job and the Church did okay. For those of you still stunned about how the Holy Spirit could have selected him, consider these words:

“I would not say so, in the sense that the Holy Spirit picks out the pope. ... I would say that the Spirit does not exactly take control of the affair, but rather like a good educator, as it were, leaves us much space, much freedom, without entirely abandoning us. Thus the Spirit’s role should be understood in a much more elastic sense, not that he dictates the candidate for whom one must vote. Probably the only assurance he offers is that the thing cannot be totally ruined...There are too many contrary instances of popes the Holy Spirit would obviously not have picked.”

Spoken in 1997 by none other than a lowly cardinal from Bavaria now known as Pope Benedict XVI.

Change takes time, and though that is hard for those who don't have ready access to a priest because married or women priests are not allowed to make up for the shortage, or for homosexuals who are still made to feel profoundly unwelcome in the life of the Church, or especially for those dying of AIDS in Africa because of the Church's ban on contraception, do consider that the Church is no longer burning uppity women or homosexuals at the stake and there are priests who are courageously helping to provide condoms as well as comfort to AIDS-stricken Africa. And after looking at how fucked up things are getting with the Anglican/Episcopalian Church as they deal with these issues, I daresay a bit of caution may be merited.

The acceptance of the beach

This afternoon in class we watched a documentary called "My Dream, Your Nightmare," which examined dialogue between the Left and the Right in Israel. It had lots of great stuff about how Orthodox Jews view secular Jews and vice versa. However, one of the lines that struck me, as it's International Size Acceptance Day (not the most eloquent title...but a start), was when a secular Jewish woman and an Orthodox woman were walking along the beach in Tel Aviv where there was a lot more skin showing than most Orthodox Jews would be comfortable with. The secular woman waved her arm and said "see, you have a fat woman in a bikini...There's so much beauty there. There's the acceptance of the beach."

One of these days I've gotta go swimming at the beach in Tel Aviv. And who knows? Maybe after a few more International Size Acceptance Days, I'll even feel comfortable wearing a bikini.

Newsday.com: One city, three faiths

Newsday.com: One city, three faiths

The link is to a book review of SALONICA, CITY OF GHOSTS: Christians, Muslims and Jews, 1430-1950, by Mark Mazower. While this sounds like a daunting book to read (as if I don't have enough books crying for my attention!) it also sounds fascinating. I always think of Salonica as the city where the Young Turk movement started, but I had no idea it was such a model of religious and cultural diversity before nationalism reared its ugly head.

Nationalism is truly a scourge that should be abandoned as soon as possible as far as I'm concerned.

I knew I voted for the right guy

The New York Times > In Portland, Ore., a Bid to Pull Out of Terror Task Force

"It would be disingenuous to say I have not been influenced by this kind of national sense - international, really - that we have taken this hard swing to the right in terms of guaranteeing personal freedoms of the citizens of this country," Mr. Leonard said.

So rarely do you feel like you voted for the right person once they take office, but I'm having all kinds of warm fuzzy feelings lately for our new mayor, Tom Potter (and I'm not the only one). He's focused budget cuts on City Hall bureaucracy rather than schools or social services. He's working on "Voter Owned Elections" in which the people will fund elections, not special interests (almost always i.e. corporations), and now, along with City Commissioner Randy Leonards (a long time critic of the Terror Task Force and the Patriot Act, as seen in the quote above), he's standing up to the FBI with its overzealous Terror Task Force.

Nice to have something warm and fuzzy on a typically gray, wet Portland Saturday.

GU Protesters Savor Win -- and a Meal (washingtonpost.com)

GU Protesters Savor Win -- and a Meal (washingtonpost.com)

I started my graduate work in the Arab Studies program at Georgetown University and for a variety of reasons decided to return to Portland. One of the things I hated about the school was that it was full of perfect little 19 year olds who looked like they just stepped out of a JCrew catalogue and drove around in the Saab their daddies bought them for graduation.

However, after the reading the above article, I have a new found respect for those JCrew clad youngsters. A hunger strike is not just a mere donation or even a demonstration. That is real sacrifice for which I not only applaud them, but say how very grateful I am that they are willing to use themselves to make life better for others who are often overlooked.

A New Power Rises Across Mideast (washingtonpost.com)

A New Power Rises Across Mideast (washingtonpost.com)

"No one will be able to deny that the people have
finally forced an Arab government to leave," said
Wael Abou Faour, a young Druze Muslim political
leader who helped draft the media strategy. "Syria is
out, the security regime is collapsing and reconciliation
is a part of every Lebanese mind."

I read this article on Sunday and sorta giggled to myself as I sent it to my godfather, Talal, a Ph.D candidate in comparative politics up at the University of Washington, as I knew he would provide far more entertaining and enlightening commentary than I would.

I was not disappointed.

"Rather bold words. I really do have to give the neo-cons some credit, though. They have, apparently, scared Bashar (al-Assad) shitless. I'd really give serious money to be a fly on his wall these days. I would learn a great deal about who really rules Syria.

As for reconciliation, the real test is if the Lebanese do anything about confessionalism. As much as a I despise letting Bush take the credit, I really hope that the Lebanese do take this opportunity seriously. A liberal state in Lebanon would be a genuinely hopeful thing for all of us who care about the region. I've never been an admirer of Rafiq Hariri's, but he's not the first spendthrift to rule a Middle Eastern country and I don't think he deserved to die for it. Whether or not his "martyrdom" is the national tragedy it's made out to be, I wouldn't be opposed to making him into a hero if it lead to a liberal Lebanon and peace.

All I can say is that it's important to remember how optimistic we all were all those years ago about Oslo and to remember how _that_ turned out. I don't think I can get all excited that way again, not when the Lebanese constitution is a known factor.

Whether Bashar was wise not to call the Americans, I can't say. He may pay the price for it afterward. On the other hand, the neo-cons are nuts and invading Lebanon to evict the Syrians is a much easier war than the one in Iraq. After all, we all remember Kuwait. It was in quick and out quick. If I were in the neo-cons' shoes, I wouldn't invade Lebanon while bogged down in Iraq, but fuck it, I'd never have invaded Iraq, so it seems to me that all bets based on simple self-interest are off.

On the other hand, with oil at $50 a barrel, and virtually every member of this administration with oil stock in their portfolio, I'm really beginning to wonder if I sold short the conspiracy theorists too soon. I mean, yes I do still believe that the neo-cons' choice to invade Iraq was motivated by their ideological program and that this price gauging, like Halliburton, is simply a lucrative sideshow. On the other hand, I think I've seriously underestimated the appeal of fascism in America from the start. I was too smug about the experience of Vietnam, too willing to believe that no politician would ever want to fight a long-term way with casualties. This crap may not work in the long-run, but as John Maynard Keynes once said, "In the long run we're all dead." Politicians have steep discount rates. In the short run, Bush rules with an iron fist and the Democratic Party is the biggest joke in the nation. I've still gotta think it can't last. But Paul Wolfowitz is about to become head of the World Bank and I'm pretty shaken.

So maybe the neo-cons would have invaded Lebanon and maybe Bashar was right to withdraw and maybe the Syrian mukhabarat (secret police) will be okay with this.

And maybe the galaxy will stop rotating.

I'm sorry, I've got to bet that _something_ is going to happen in Syria soon. A purge, an assassination attempt, something. Without Lebanon, Syria is the loser of the Arab-Israeli conflict. Ba`athism in now an _utter_ failure (as opposed to the general failure that it was before). SOMEONE in the Syrian establishment has got to be pissed.

But wait, Syria will be tranquil, Egypt will be a democracy, and Lebanon will eclipse France in its splendor. Cheney will be elected President, the people will rejoice and I'll be wrong about everything. I'm beginning to wonder if I've just wasted the last twelve years of my life and, in the end, the true understanding of politics is that reality is simply manufactured by Republican dream doctors. It turns out the New Deal was just an unpleasant nightmare. Arabs are really American consumers with a tan and a talent for bullshit and given a chance, they just spontaneously rise up and convert the Levant into California. Maybe the poor, when turned out onto the streets, will be converted into hard-working and upright citizens who work at Microsoft. And maybe we're all better off by making the filthy rich even richer, because, God damn it, they deserve it and we don't.

What the fuck do I know?"

Now, I realize, my dear gentle readers, that with all the drama at the Vatican of late I have been remiss in keeping you up to date regarding the Middle East.

The so-called "Cedar Revolution" sort of fizzled when half a million pro-Syrian demonstrators showed up in Beirut a few weeks after the 20,000 or so, mostly Maronite Christians, began what everyone here in the American media still believes to be the "Arab Spring." However, despite the overwhelming show of support for the Syrian presence in Lebanon among the numerically superior Shia population, Syria has continued to pull out its troops and security forces.

We have speculated, as you see in Talal's comments above, that Bashar had been bullied into doing so because Bush was threatening to invade Lebanon. I was reticent to agree with this at first because the US is so bogged down in Iraq it couldn't possibly spare the troops. But Talal countered that perhaps the neo-cons would decide to hell with Iraq, Lebanon looks practically like a done deal, and they actually would welcome us with rose petals.

I've also argued that I think the conspiracy theory everyone should really be considering these days is that a bunch of political scientists thought up the whole the neo-con movement as a way to keep them in jobs for the next 50 years, which is how long they will all be analyzing the way the neo-cons blew all their theories about politics - like rational choice - out of the water.

Report from Rome VII: Habemus Papam

In what is probably the last in this series of reports from Father Kurt, he talks about what it was like when the Vatican announced that a new pope had been elected.

{giggle} He sounds like an overly excited kid.

I appreciated his comments at the end about what those who have actually worked with Cardinal Ratzinger say about him. While his interpretations of doctrine have been frustrating for me or just plain baffled me at times (like his opposition to Turkey's entry into the EU because it is not a "Christian" nation -- what is this, 1453 or something?), it is true that I have never met him, nor have most of those in the press who paint him as "rigid" and a "rottweiler." I think sometimes it is so easy to demonize those we disagree with -- something both conservatives and liberals do.

********************

Christ is Risen!

Dear friends,

Well, I know you've heard the big news long before this email. And you probably, as is often the case, have better information
from commentators and historians that we have on the street here.

It's Wednesday afternoon, and since I just got back from Latin class, I should mention that "Habemus Papam" means "We have a Pope." Habemus is present indicative first person plural, and Papam is accusative case.

Starting Monday evening, the main quest in Rome was to be present at the first appearance of the new pope, or even at the white smoke. We were told that the smoke would appear at about noon and about seven in the evening, regardless of how the votes went. There are two ballots in the morning, and two in the evening, but they save the ballots and burn smoke after two ballots.The voting procedure is so long and ritualized, that it takes over an hour to vote, with no talking, except the announcement of the names on the ballots.

Monday night, the first possible time for a ballot, I had a pastoral commitment. The men who did go said that there was black smoke at around 8:15. It was late because that first session was not on the usual schedule. Oddly enough, there was a rumor in the news media that no vote took place, but no one knows how that story started. Because of my schedule, I figured I could be present for every other appearance of smoke. Most people predicted the earliest successful ballot might be on Thursday.

I was able to see the Tuesday noon smoke which was black. Although I hoped to see white smoke, it was exciting to at least see the smoke once in my life. If you stand far enough back in the Piazza, it is possible to see the roof of the Sistine Chapel. If you are too close to St. Peter's, you cannot see the roof. At least now, I will always know which roof is the Sistine Chapel. Since it can be hard to tell the color of the smoke, everyone listened for
bells also. The giant TV screens (maxischermi) showed closeups of the smoke. Someone joked that it should have subtitles to tell us the color. One of my friends that I invited to go was too late because he figured it would be an hour late as it was Monday night. In fact, it appeared at about ten minutes before noon. So we knew not to cut it too close in the future. Someone who has lived here for years said that "about noon" could mean anything from 11 to 1. The rather large crowd dispersed, and I was able to make it home for pranzo (lunch) at 1. I signed out for dinner so that I could go back in the evening, and I signed up for a "sacco", a sack lunch for the evening.

A group of men announced they were heading over at 4 to wait for the smoke, to ensure that they were right under the loggia when the new pope appeared. Since I had Latin homework, and I believed
the smoke wouldn't appear until 7, I stayed home to do Latin.

I was sitting at my desk doing my homework, a little before 6 o'clock, when I heard a voice in the hall say, "Habemus Papam." I put on my collar and grabbed my coat, asking myself how they could have made the announcement before 7. As I got ready to run, I opened my window to enjoy the sound of all the bells in Rome ringing at once. There was no doubt from the bells that the voice I heard in the hall was accurate. According to the rumors, we have one hour to get to St. Peter's, although they say, you will never get close because the crowd gathers so fast.

Since I didn't know how long ago the smoke had appeared, I took off out the back door at high speed. The bells of the Church of
the Twelve Apostles were deafening in the stone piazza and alleys near the Casa. I ran into a seminarian from the NAC by the name of Avellino who was also running from the Casa for the Piazza, so we joined forces. I told him I thought maybe it was more exciting
this way, to run with the crowd, and hear all the churches pealing as we ran through the street. He jumped at the chance to
get over his own disappointment at not being there, and agreed with me. And it was a very exciting walk to St. Peter's. There were few people near the Casa, but as we got closer, the crowd was swelling. It was nearly all young people. I didn't take
a bus, because I assumed a bus would be gridlocked and not any faster. We cut down river from the main entrance to try to get around the main crowd, and came from the Janiculum hill. Since Avellino lives there, I trusted his decisions. As we approached the Piazza, it appeared full, so we decided to go through the colonnade, and I nearly broke a leg or foot or something jumping the fence onto the stones. Although the crowd was thick,
we were able to make our way to the area near the obelisk. I envied my friends who were right up under the loggia, or as close as allowed, the very front was blocked. The crowd appeared to be 90 percent young people, mostly age 15 to 25. On the way in, there were motorinos (motorcycles) also coming in the thick crowds. It looked like the only excitement we missed out on was
trying to ride a motorcycle through the crowd.

After about twenty minutes, we saw action at the loggia. Someone let loose the giant red velvet curtains so that they covered the main door. Then some workers came out and lowered an enormous tapestry of John Paul's coat of arms from the loggia.
The enormous windows on either side opened and the scarlet cardinals began coming out onto the balconies. It was quite
a sight. Even from that distance, their scarlet colors was very striking. It appeared that one window wouldn't open, and there were cardinals peering over the top of an obstruction like little boys who weren't going to let mere gravity keep them from seeing
the show. Finally, a cardinal came out on the loggia and began with "dear brothers and sisters". He then said that in all the major western languages, building the suspense, and finally said Habemus Papam. The crowd cheered after each greeting, and then went crazy after he said Habemus Papam. He announced the name very
slowly, and after he said Joseph, it was quite a while before he got to Ratzinger. Where I was standing, absolutely everyone was ecstatic. I was surprised to hear from my friends later that in other spots, there were boos and some people walked off or looked shell
shocked. However, where I was, absolutely everyone was ecstatic. A man with a large video camera (I think from ABC) was taking close ups of everyone's faces. Avellino was standing behind me and shook me really hard, and kept pounding me on the back he wasso happy. The cardinal also told us the new name
of the Holy Father, Benedict XVI.

After a short pause, the new Pope came out on the loggia.
The crowd was cheering with abandon. I kept looking back
and forth between the real balcony, and then TV screen where,
of course, I could see better. It took the Italians almost no time to turn Benedetto into a rhythmic soccer cheer. When people finally quieted down, the Pope made a very humble speech. He then gave everyone in the square absolution for their entire life, and then a plenary indulgence. He then gave the blessing "Urbi et Orbi".

It turned out that a large part of the American seminarians were not far from us, so we made our way over there. The American seminarians were as excited as puppies. They were all grinning and pounding on each other, as if they had won the biggest sporting event of their lives. I wandered off since I knew there were other priests from the Casa there, though I had no idea if I would ever find any of them in that Piazza. Father Al Baca from Orange, California told me that he thought the cardinals had given the new pope "a clear mandate" since his recent sermons made his program so clear.All the American priests were equally excited about the choice, and couldn't stop grinning. I later learned that a number of them received ordination to the diaconate from the new Holy Father.

At the back door to our house, Father Mike Spitzer found me, and suggested we go out to dinner to celebrate, after we check out the TV coverage. He said that he had given three TV interviews in the Piazza to French and German stations. He said they were very scared, and he calmed them down. "I told them, quit worrying, everything is going to be all right. He will be a great pope." He was as close as possible to the loggia, so he was able to recognize the faces up there. He said that just before the absolution, his camera
stopped on him, and he realized something important was about to happen that he shouldn't photograph, so he fell to his knees just before the absolution.

On the TV, we could see that Cardinal Baum was on the loggia with the Holy Father. He is in terrible health and in a wheel chair, but he is under 80, so he returned to Rome to vote. He was (I think) the only cardinal in the conclave who went back as far as Cardianl Ratzinger, and that is why he was on the loggia. Everyone in the Casa was happy,because that meant that Father Bart, a great friend of them all, was standing right there too, since he pushes the wheel chair now.

They broke out drinks in the TV room, and everone toasted the new Pontiff. That was when I learned that several of them were ordained by the Holy Father. Several people joked that we know that ordination was valid!

Father Michael and I headed off for the chinese restaurant. There is a restaurant near the Casa where the owners have adopted all the priests as their own sons. They are always thrilled when one come in, and everyone gets a free pen on the first visit. There were three others already there, a Ukrainian and two Slovaks, so we were able to listen and learn a lot about how eastern Europe is taking everything, or might take things in the near future. I think it was quite an eye opener to Father Spitzer who was not aware of the extent of the suffering of the Greek Catholic Church under communism, and the number of martyrs.

All in all, it was quite a day. It seemed strange to just go off to bed, and rest up for morning class. It seemed like we should be roaming the streets partying all night, but I guess that's not how clergy are supposed to celebrate.

I was struck with the very positive reception by the Italians. It was no secret that the Italian people wanted an Italian pope, but they seemed just as happy as anyone else. One young man who was interviewed said that he was just glad that they had chosen someone who is holy. I think that that is the main thing the Italians look for is someone who is holy, and he has been here so many years that they know that about him. They don't judge him by politics or "issues". Someone said that Italians also respect intellectuals, and they know he is that. I didn't hear a single negative judgment from any Italian.

In addition, the Polish people seem to be very very happy. The Polish nuns and priests are all very pleased with the choice. At dinner today, when someone mentioned some of the negative publicity about the Pope's youth, a Polish priest at the table became very angry. He said that if the people of Poland are thrilled by the choice, then no one else can hold that against him. He said that thirty years ago, there would have been mass protests in Poland, but since everyone in Poland is so happy, and there are no restrictions there now on speech or demonstations, he said that it shows what a great and holy man the new Pope is.

At breakfast this morning, everyone was vying to tell everyone else where he was and what he was doing yesterday. The ones who were there for the white smoke said that the color was very confusing, at about ten minutes to six. A lot of them were sure it must be white, because otherwise, they wouldn't have smoke until seven. But there were no bells. Then at six, the six o'clock bells rang, and stopped. Then at about ten after six, the bells started ringing again, and everyone knew for certain that there was a pope.

Then Monsignor Charles Guarino came in, everyone was congratulating him. The new Pope was his boss till yesterday. Well, he's still his boss, but in a different role. I want to pass on one story he told us recently. Saturday was the Pope's birthday, the new Pope. At the Congregation for the Doctrine and Faith, they had a birthday party for him. A lot of priests rehearsed and sang an Ave Maria, first in plain chant and then in four part harmony. He was very moved. As he was leaving, he turned around and gave them all another little wave, and Monsignor told us, (this was last weekend before the election) that the all suddenly knew that that was the last time that they would see him as part of their office. Today at lunch, Monsignor told us that the new Pope came by their office again. He was as usual extremely humble, but he gave each of them an individual blessing. One of the men here was commenting that he has never heard a negative story or a negative comment from anyone who actually met or worked with the new Holy Father. That is also my experience. Although I never met him, the city is full of people who have met him and love to tell stories about anyone important. I have never heard a negative story or comment about him from anyone who met him or worked with him.

One last thing...I am attaching a news story that was published yesterday by a major news service. I think you will get a good laugh from it. It's a good reminder not to believe everything you read. In case you can't open the attachment, or don't get it, the story reports as fact that the conservative and liberal cardinals are in deadlock and searching for a third compromise candidate. Cardinal Ratzinger cannot now be elected.

God bless you all,
Father Kurt

National Catholic Reporter: "And he shall be called..."

National Catholic Reporter: "And he shall be called..."

This is a nice addendum to Nathan's article yesterday about the significance of the name Benedict.

Fides, Spes, Caritas: Benedictine Legacy

Fides, Spes, Caritas: Benedictine Legacy

Habemus Papam!

I still need to update my template per Nathan's suggestion regarding trackbacks, but in the meantime I did want to post a link to his post discussing the significance of Joseph Ratzinger chosing the name Benedict for his papacy (wow, that feels weird to say that!). Before liberals get all in a huff (though I can't say I said nice things the moment I found out) about our new Holy Father and start talking about fighting words, they may want to take a bit of time to reflect (and pray!) as Nathan does in the above piece.

Christ is Risen!

Save, O Lord, and have mercy upon our most holy ecumenical Pontiff, Benedict XVI!

(Geesh, that's going to be hard to get used to -- my backspace button is going to get a lot of use as I transition from John Paul II to Benedict XVI.)

The opening of the conclave

Another post from Father Kurt, my parish priest who is in Rome for further studies in canon law. LOL -- someone in his house found this here blog and told him I had posted his reports. He then emailed the person in our parish who has been forwarding his reports to say that he found my blog, but that I'd miss one of his reports from the night before John Paul II died. So, not only am I relieved that he's not upset that I posted them on here without his permission, but I will post the one I missed this evening after class.

In the meantime, here was what the opening of the conclave was like in the flesh.

******************

Hello again from Rome.

The past week was rather somber after the funeral of
the Pope.

The Church celebrated nine days of mourning with a
mass at St. Peter's every evening at 5:00 pm. Some of the
men went to a few, but no one made it to all of them.

I went to the one on Thursday, since it was especially
for Easterners. The main celebrant was the Maronite
Patriarch of Antioch. The other two main celebrants
were the Secretary of the Eastern Congregation, and
the Cardinal Archbishop of Lviv, Cardinal Husar.
The other two Eastern cardinals were present,
the Cardinal Archbishop of Bombay, and the
Coptic Patriarch. They joined the other three
at the main altar for the Anaphora (Eucharistic
Prayer).

The Liturgy used was the Maronite Liturgy,
almost all in Arabic with some Syriac.
Only a couple of Latin Cardinals vested,
notably Cardinal Mahoney who stood two
seats in front of me. About one hundred eastern
priests were vested, and we were given the best
seats I have ever had, just behind the Bishops.
There was a row for vested cardinals, only a few,
then a row for bishops, and then us.
There were about twenty Ukrainian priests,
all in gold vestments. There were about twenty
Indian priests, in gold copes with hot pink stripes.
Their Cardinal wore a cope that was almost all hot
pink.

The Maronite priests were dressed much more simply
in cassocks (their version) and stoles. Their bishops
wore enormous Latin miters, like Roman bishops
used to wear before Vatican II. The Eucharistic
Prayer was the Anaphora of the Twelve Apostles.
The Maronites have many ancient Eucharistic Prayers.

The Liturgy was celebrated at the main altar in St.
Peter's. I don't know if there has been an Eastern Liturgy at
the main altar in a thousand years. (There may have
been, but I don't know about it.) There certainly
won't be one that colorful again for a long time.
The Ukrainian choir provided beautiful hymns at
the opening and communion. The Maronite
choir sang in Arabic with Arabic music for the
rest of the Liturgy. At the very beginning, the
Maronite Patriarch stood at his chair in front of the main
altar, and a priest incensed him. He incensed so much
that the Patriarch almost vanished completely from
sight.It really set the tone for an Eastern liturgy there.

In the Maronite Liturgy, the "words of institution",
that is, "This is my body...This is my blood..." are still said
in Aramaic, perhaps the actual words that Our Lord
used. I often attend the Maronite Liturgy near my house
here, and I always get a special feeling that we are
worshipping the God who spoke on Mouth Zion at their Liturgy.

There has been some talk that Cardinal Husar might
be the next Pope, wishful thinking by people who
admire the East. I learned yesterday that he is
recovering from a series of eye surgeries, so that
should probably nix his candidacy. All these things
fit together in God's plan (in my opinion).
Unfortunately, only one other priest from the American
college attended this Liturgy, Father Peter
Smutelovich, a Slovak priest incardinated in New Jersey.

This morning was the Mass to begin the Conclave.
There has been a great deal of discussion of why
the Pontifical Universities haven't cancelled a few
classes. I can understand how awkward it must be for the
administrators. Our house president gave a TV
interview in which he worked in the remark that,
it is strange that the Italian government closed all
the state universities for a week of mourning, and
the Pontifical universities did not miss even a day.
Personally, I wouldn't like to miss a whole week
and then have everyone's schedule disrupted
at the end of the semester, but it gives us something
to talk about. Only one Pontifical university
cancelled classes for a half a day this morning,
and one priest joked that the only institutions
in Rome that are running smoothly on schedule
are the Pontifical universities. I emailed my
professors and asked if I could miss class for
the Mass, and they told me to go to the Mass
and skip class. They are both Jesuits. I mention
that because there is a lot of gossip about
the Jesuits not respecting the papacy these days.

The Mass this morning was very very beautiful.
Getting in was the usual chaos. Although the
North American College was informed that
we could concelebrate, and should arrive together,
when we arrived, half were let in, and half turned
away. Then the other half was sent in and
out of several doors, and finally admitted
to the same section where everyone else was.
We were seated in the south transept of
St. Peter's, which was an excellent location
for watching people arrive and leave. There is
a door there called the diplomatic entrance,
and it is also the closest to Santa Martha. As
a result, we got to watch all the Cardinals
walk by very close, as well as all the diplomats
and ambassadors. We didn't know any of the latter,
but they wear exotic suits and medals.

The only Cardinal I have met myself is Cardinal Baum.
He is a kindly man from Washington DC who worked
in the Vatican for most of his career. He is now
retired because of health, but is under 80, so
he can legally vote. He returned to Washington
about a month ago for health, and most people
including him, assumed that he would never
return. But he is here! He was being pushed
in a wheel chair by Father Bart, his secretary,
who has been taking care of him for a long time.
Father Bart is one of the finest priests you might
meet, a genuinely pleasant man, as Jesus said,
there is no guile in this Israelite. We saw
all the American Cardinals, but the only one
who came over to say hello was Cardinal Keeler.
He shook hands with his priest from Baltimore.
Cardinal Keeler is also a very fine man.
He had no problems in the current upheaval
because he cleaned up his diocese so thoroughly
in the early 1990's, making no friends in the process.
At the 75th anniversary of the Eparchy of Pittsburgh,
he was in attendance, and in his speech, he
apologized to our church for every injury
ever done to us by the Latin Church.
(To be certain, our church has never asked for an
apology. Vast numbers of our people
were martyred in the twentieth century
for the privilege of being in communion
with Rome.)

Cardinal McCarrick also waved to the
American priests. Yesterday, he celebrated
Mass at the American College, and preached
an incredible sermon about the spirituality of
John Paul the Second and the Love of God.
One priest in the pew in front of me was
actually crying from the sermon.
The Mass today was celebrated by Cardinal Ratzinger.
The Mass was as beautiful as possible,
everything from the prayers to the music.
Cardinal Ratzinger's sermon was excellent.
I didn't understand a lot of it, but I think
he said that we must avoid slipping into
relativism, claiming that there is no absolute
truth. (Of course, that claim is itself an
absolute, but then falsehoods are never logical, are
they?) Cardinal Ratzinger said that relativism
and libertine behaviors are themselves
the ultimate tyranny and lack of freedom.
Only Christ can save us from these traps.

At dinner tonight, one priest had a
"Ratzinger Joke". He said that when Pope
Wotylja came out, he said, "When I make
a mistake, you will correct me."
When Pope Ratzinger comes out,
he will say, "When you make a mistake,
I will correct you." (It's only a joke, lighten up.)

One thing that I have learned in Rome
is that Cardinal Ratzinger is a very kindly
gentleman, and not at all like
the cartoon character that some people
create of him, people who are looking for
an authority figure to criticize. In reality,
Cardinal Ratzinger does not hunt people
down: when bishops send a question
to Rome about whether or not a particular
writing is true to the faith, it is up
to Cardinal Ratzinger to give his
best scholarly opinion on the subject.
In fact, the people who know him personally
say that the only reason he might not
make a great pope is because he is too shy.

We got to watch most of the cardinals
leave as well, through the diplomatic door,
much to our surprise.

Now the big excitement is trying to
be in the Piazza when the smoke comes.
They claim that the smoke is on a timetable,
so we can expect it at 12 noon and 7 PM,
regardless of which ballot decides the outcome.
Tonight, it was after 8 PM. Several
men went to the square and saw it.
They said it was "really black".
I was unable to go tonight because
of a pastoral commitment, but I should
be able to make the next ones.
I'm pretty excited about that!
I have class tomorrow from 8:30 till 10:30,
and then I can head for the Piazza.

I hate to end on a negative note, but
I do want to mention how obvious the
American press bias is when you have
access to other news sources. I guess
it's already obvious once you are sensitive
to it, but it is especially clear in an international
setting. Throughout the Pope's death and mourning
period, the English language press pretended
to be respectful, but at the end of every article
they always included a little attack in the last
paragraph. When Christiana Amanpour took
to the airwaves here, as soon as she arrived
on a plane, she launched into a speech about
how touching it was to see simple Catholics
who still have affection for the Holy Father
after everything he did to hurt them.
It seems the gloves are off now. The Herald
Tribune is the main English language newspaper
all over the continent, and is really the New York
Times. Their front page story yesterday was
all about how John Paul killed and orphaned
so many poor people in Africa. The story
about the conclave today on Yahoo was really
mostly a vicious attack on John Paul. If I understand
the story correctly, it seems that the Catholic
Church, the foremost proponent of monogamy
and chastity, is somehow responsible for spreading a
sexually transmitted disease. If I understand
the English language press correctly, if the next
pope is party animal, and encourages us all
to live like frat boys, we will have paradise on
earth and an end to disease and poverty.
The African Cardinals here have done an amazing job
of arguing with the American reporters, but
I don't thing that gets a lot of airplay. The Yahoo
story today was so anti-Catholic that I am
thinking of changing my email service.
The Italian coverage is very different indeed.
Despite all the reporters saying that the average
Catholic is demanding change, they are having
a really hard time finding a "man on the street"
who will tell them that. Everyone they find
to interview says we need another pope
like John Paul. Rome is plastered absolutely everywhere with
posters (called manifestos) which say
"Thank you Holy Father". Some are from the
priests of Rome, and others are from
different civic organizations or from the
government.

Well, I better go to bed now.
My professor on Tuesday mornings doesn't
allow anyone into class if they are even
a moment late. He is a very respected
Greek (in scholarly circles) who is teaching us about
the canons of the first millenium.

God bless you all!

Father Kurt

Betting on the Pope

Oddschecker:Next Pope Betting Odds

My boyfriend, A., is Catholic but not particularly devout. As soon as the Holy Father died, he was looking at Oddschecker, which compares the odds various bookies are offering for all the possible "papabile," in order to place his own bet.

Now, before you figure he's headed straight for hell, do note that even the ever so devout Daughters of St. Paul include betting among the activities that occur during the conclave. And the Catechism of the Catholic Church considers that "games of chance or wagers are not in themselves contrary to justice."

So, in deciding upon whom to bet, we've been reading as much as we can find about the different cardinals making up the conclave this week. He is certain the next pope will be a Spanish speaker, so our focus has been on the various Latin American cardinals.

As this is the era of Google and lazy-ass journalists, one thing is clear: whoever he is, he's gotta be google-able. So, someone like Alfonso Cardinal López Trujillo would probably not be a good idea as a quick Google search brought to light his association with notorious drug lord Pablo Escobar and other unseemly fellows. At the moment only Betfair is offering odds for him at 132 to 1.

A. was keen for Jaime Ortega y Alamino for a bit. Ortega has a kind face, spent time in a prison camp under Castro, and set up youth programs in Cuba. Plus, there was the added amusment of thinking about how Homeland Security officials at the Miami Airport gave Ortega a hard time when he tried to visit family in March. You know, like, dude, you interrogated the Pope. You are so going to hell... However, Ortega has had his difficulties with the Vatican when they didn't respond much to Castro throwing a bunch of priests in prison at the same time they were celebrating Castro's gift of a convent to a nun with whom Castro was friends. And apparently others have also decided that he might not be the best bet as his odds have dropped this week from 20:1 at PaddyPower on Wednesday to his current odds at Betfair of 149:1.

So A. has checked out others. Rejected Norberto Carrera of Mexico (who apparently isn't that charismatic and can be a bit abrasive), Jorge Bergoglio ("they're sooo not going to elect a Jesuit"), Oscar Maradiaga (too young and comfortable with Liberation Theology [though let me just say, he's one I really like as I think he'd be a nice bridge between liberals and conservatives -- he's even friends with Bono, but apparently the odds are not quite in his favor as he's at anywhere between 15:1 to 19:1]), Claudio Hummes (his native tongue is Porteguese rather than Spanish), and on down the list.

At the moment A. is looking at Francisco Javier Cardinal Errázuriz Ossa of Chile (the current president of the Latin American Bishops' Conference) and Juan Sandoval Iñíguez of Mexico (I can't remember now for what reason, though Iniquez also has a kind face).

Personally, I can't imagine trying to figure it out. There are so many different variables, particularly those spiritual ones that just can't be charted or put into an equation of any sort (not that spirituality has even been a consideration in picking a pope as this history of papal selection demonstrates). One Vatican watcher explained in the New York Times today that despite all the current speculation surrounding Cardinal Ratzinger (almost even at Pinnacle -- eek!), unexpected things can happen when those cardinals all get together. "Do not underestimate the power of the microculture that is generated among the cardinals when they are together...The kind of reflections that end up influencing them are completely unpredictable."

Unfortunately, that doesn't give you much to put a fiver down on.

A portrait of my days

beppeblog: A. A. A. D. D

Joe over at beppeblog had a post yesterday about what it's like to live with Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. I read it thinking, omg, that's what every day is like for me!

"Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day: the car isn't washed, the bills aren't paid, there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter, the flowers aren't watered, there is still only one check in my checkbook, I can't find the remote, I can't find my glasses, and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired."

Yup. Exactly!

For me the issue is my slow short term memory. Everybody knows what it's like to walk into the kitchen and think, now, why did I come in here? But usually it's something that happens every once in a while. For me, that happens several times a day. Reading and writing can be difficult because a lot of the time I can't remember what I was going to say at the end of the sentence when I'm only part way through, or by the time I've finished reading the sentence, I have to go back to remember what I read at the beginning. It's part of whatever neurological dysfunction causes CFIDS. I've even got clinical proof of it through the psychometric testing they did on me when I applied for Social Security.

But like I say, it's just slow short term memory. I usually do figure things out eventually. It just means I have to... go slow.

Which is sorta my theme in life.

Hmm...maybe I need to get some cheesy animal picture and make posters out of it that say "go slow." Seems to have worked for those "easy does it" people... ;)

Difference in scale

I registered for classes for the first time in two years. Normally I do by-arrangement coursework for my thesis, mostly because I haven't been able to handle making it to a classroom, and I've needed the student loan money to pay for medicine.

But, as I've felt healthier since January or so, and I wanted to get to know some professors who might be useful for my thesis, I registed for three classes this Spring term: American Cultural History -- a Monday/Wednesday/Friday class at 10am, Israel/Palestine through Film -- Tuesdays and Thursdays from 4:40 to 6:30, and a one day class on John Wayne in June.

I was so excited. I was going to get to be around other people. I was going to get to wear something other than my pajamas.

But I also had my concerns. I didn't have quite the energy level that I had two years ago. I'm still averaging three medical appointments a week that I would have to attend in addition to class. I would be going somewhere EVERY day, which I haven't managed on a consistent basis in recent memory.

But...school!

The week before I bought my books and a spiral notebook for classes. New pens. Remembered the excitement I use to have about buying school supplies.

Holy Week preceded the beginning of Spring term, which was a lot more chanting than I'm used to. Normally I'm lucky to make it to Divine Liturgy once a week, but I went three times during Holy Week with that double whammy on Friday. Didn't get my rest day on Sunday because I had to go to my mom's for Easter, though went to the Saturday night liturgy rather than the Sunday morning one so I wouldn't have two early mornings in a row.

I forgot how much energy sitting in a classroom takes. The florescent lights. The uncomfortable chairs (though better than the wooden side desks of before). How being around large groups of people sucks the vitality from me like a kid with a pixie stick. How my short term memory is so slow now I struggle to remember what the professor said long enough to write it down in my new spiral notebook. And even with my swanky new $6 pen endorsed by the Arthritis Foundation, my hand aches if I take notes constantly throughout the class.

The fatigue set in pretty quickly. By Thursday I barely managed to stagger to class. Once I sat down, the professor announced he wanted us to get into small groups and talk about what we believed to be the cause of the Israel/Palestine conflict. You mean I have to actually *talk*? Afterwards I had that ache in my lungs that every since the pulmonary embolism I get when I'm really really tired. Friday I had to skip class and rest. By Tuesday of the second week I could barely make it from the bed to the bathroom and the kitchen. Wednesday night I decided to drop my American Cultural History course. I can get to know that prof another time. The other classes are far more useful for my thesis. And these days, utilitarian is the key.

Along with the fatigue has been a sort of prevelant melancholy. The Israel/Palestine class is in a building I've not been in much since my undergraduate days, so the inevitable contrast has occurred. As an undergraduate I spent a lot of time in that building as I worked there as well as used the computer lab in the basement to write most of my papers. They were happy, busy days. When I could climb the stairs easily rather than struggle up them with a cane.

I've been trying to focus on now. That the life I have now is not worse, just different. That I'm grateful for the experiences I had as an undergraduate but they are the past and this is the present. Yet I cannot help but feel sad.

In the past I would have felt angry. Bitter that I can't be that person who can sit easily in a classroom. Now it's just sad. Okay, and maybe a little frustrated that I'm still here. I would have been horrified if you would have told me at 22 I would still be climbing the stairs to Shattuck Hall to attend class ten years later. There's that loss too. My academic career is gone. Now I just struggle to finish a Master's Degree started such a long time ago that I don't know if I'll ever get to use.

The other day my godfather, who has a similiar condition, Multiple Sclerosis, talked about the sheer difference in scale. "I don't feel that different," he said as he remembered back to the days when he was working on his Master's Degree and did a zillion different things with ease. But now he too struggles with short term memory flaws and the fatigue that concentration brings. "It's hard to imagine what all I did."

Yes, there's that difference in scale. As an undergraduate I took two, even three languages, plus coursework that included archival research and 15-20 page papers. Worked 10-24 hours a week. Directed a youth program at my church, worked in leadership with the College Group, and taught Children's Church.

But there's also the difference in scale in that what seemed fairly trivial before is a major achievement for me. Like walking to class. Talking to people in class. Taking notes in class. Everything seems so much bigger now. Like going back to your old school, and instead of everything being smaller because you've grown, they loom taller than they ever have.

And that, I think, is when I begin to appreciate the scale of the loss. Especially on a day like today when my body is so stiff I can hardly move it, and I shuffle along with my cane like the old people in the park and think I feel too old to be 32.

My Byzantine Catholic rant

I remember a few years back I was going to go to a Roman mass at the cathedral, and as I got there early before the door opened (only because I got the time wrong -- I have...er...tardiness issues) I chatted with an older guy waiting to pray his novena. At some point I mentioned being Byzantine Catholic and he nodded as if annoyed. Later he ranted to me about Vatican II and how it's opened the door to all kinds of stuff, including guitars and weirdos like Byzantine Catholics.

I blinked, but kept smiling.

My boyfriend has already warned me that when I meet his father, who is a very devout Roman Catholic, he's probably going to ask me why I didn't just become a real Catholic.

Yeah, us Byzantine Catholics aren't like real Catholics or anything.

Like I mentioned in this post, it was cool when I got to see the Panachida led by the Coptic Catholic Patriarch Stephanos Ghattos at the papal funeral. My liturgical tradition was being included. Rome was acknowledging we were real Catholics. Even if we were just there to add color.

So then I get my daily digest of messages from a yahoo group I'm a member of with an article about us "so-called Greek Catholics."

"So-called?"

Okay, so I blinked but didn't smile and sent off a hasty reply email complaining that it's not like we don't exist. Which then provoked a couple of emails from Orthodox members stating that we're all a bunch of filioque-adding heretics and that we uniates are the reason there is no unity in the Church.

Sigh...

First of all, the filioque? Seriously? For a church that chalks up a lot of the unanswerable questions about Christianity (and quite rightly too) to "mystery," they sure do insist on defining that clause of the Creed with more precision than Thomas Aquinas EVER had in regard to angels and the head of a pin (and yes, for you pendants out there, I know he didn't really say anything about that oft-referred-to question). The Trinity is the single greatest mystery of Christian doctrine and no one can define it with ANY precision. And if no one can, is it really worth tearing the Body of Christ assunder?

Second, UNIFICATION HAPPENED; DEAL WITH IT ALREADY! Yes, the Union of Brest, of Uzhorod, the Roman/Melkite union, etc. were the result of political machinations and aggressive efforts at proselytization by Rome. I am under no illusions that there was great spiritual motivation there. It was crass politics and showed great disrespect to the Orthodox, who have already borne the disrepect of excommunication by Cardinal Humbert in 1056, the Crusades, the sacking of Constantinople and Mt. Athnos, the lack of assistance in 1453 against the Ottomans, and hundreds of other insults, including, apparently, current efforts to convert Orthodox Christians to the Catholic Church (of which, I'm still unsure about just how much of it is really proselytization and how much is just Ukrainian Catholics wanting to be Catholic not Orthodox). But, in the 300+ years since union happened, a great many Byzantine Catholics have grown up being both Byzantine AND Catholic. And we like being BOTH. Why make us choose? And how is making us choose going to unite the Church?

We Byzantine Catholics celebrate the same liturgy as the Orthodox (and we don't say the filioque in the Creed as well). We love having communion with our Latin brethren. We get frustrated with both the Orthodox and the Latins, but we appreciate the tension.

I guess I just feel like we're sort of invisible, something nobody wants to talk about on either side. But we do exist and love both lungs of the Church and wish both would love and respect us for who we are, rather than hauling us out to show off the color of the Church or to show that we're what's wrong with it.

And that's my rant for today.

And the Verdict on Justice Kennedy Is: Guilty (washingtonpost.com)

And the Verdict on Justice Kennedy Is: Guilty (washingtonpost.com)

"Phyllis Schlafly, doyenne of American conservatism, said Kennedy's opinion forbidding capital punishment for juveniles 'is a good ground of impeachment.'"

Right. So being against killing children is now grounds for impeachment? How does that possibly fit under "high crimes and misdemeanors?" I can't believe these are the same people who talk about strict interpretation of the Constitution with a straight face.

"Not to be outdone, lawyer-author Edwin Vieira told the gathering that Kennedy should be impeached because his philosophy, evidenced in his opinion striking down an anti-sodomy statute, 'upholds Marxist, Leninist, satanic principles drawn from foreign law.'

Ominously, Vieira continued by saying his 'bottom line' for dealing with the Supreme Court comes from Joseph Stalin. 'He had a slogan, and it worked very well for him, whenever he ran into difficulty: 'no man, no problem,' " Vieira said."

First, are they even aware of the gallingly blatant contradictions in their rhetoric?

Second, okay, I haven't been reading the news as much since November (aside from various headlines), but when the hell did we move from just fascist allusions to quoting Stalin?

Report from Rome: IV

Wow -- this is the coolest report yet from Father Kurt. Particularly his points at the end about the loneliness of death. And while I think Cardinal Ratzinger's sermon was beautiful and meaningful, I'm not sure it's quite up there with the Apostle Peter's speech at Pentecost. But, that's just me. :)

Also, I was pretty excited to realize I was right about the Arabic in the Panachida that the Eastern Patriarchs chanted at the end of the Funeral. The part in Arabic that I recognized (hey, I've listened to that Fairuz Easter Hymns CD enough) is the apolytikon chanted throughout Pascha (Easter):

Al-Maseehu qama min bayn il-amwat wa wati almawta bil mawt wa wa hab al-ah-yat lil-lazeena filqubour! (Arabic)

Christos Anesti ek nekron thanato than aton pateesas keh thees en dees mnimassi zo-een kharisamenos! (Greek)

Christ is risen from the dead; by death he conquered death and to those in the graves he granted life.

I didn't realize it was the Patriarch of Constantinople who led the chanting. That is absolutely amazing. I mean, really really amazing. Something that hasn't happened in over a millennia. Actually, has it ever happened? Even before the Schism? I don't think anybody appreciates at the moment just how profound that is. Indeed I think that is probably going to be one of the most significant aspects of John Paul's legacy.

Update 3/12: I have to correct Father Kurt here: it was NOT the Patriarch of Constantinople who led the Panachida at the end, but Coptic-Catholic Patriarch Stephanos Ghattos. However, I believe the last time the Patriarch of Constantinople came to a papal funeral was prior to the Schism, so still a pretty big deal.

***************************

Hello everyone,

Well, Friday was a very long day at the end of a very long week. On Thursday, our house superior was able to obtain "tickets", for the Papal funeral. They were really letters from Archbishop Marini permitting the bearer to concelebrate at the Mass. The Archbishop was kind enough to provide enough that almost everyone in the house who wanted to go, was able to. The letter is called a "Notificazione", and had a red seal on the front.

Even with the letters, everyone had different ideas about whether or not they would get us anywhere near the Mass. One priest told us, his own experience, not hearsay, that when Mother Theresa was beatified, he arrived near the Vatican at 6:00 AM at the entrance we would be trying, and it took two hours to get through the packed crowd at that early hour. As it turned out, four million people were here for this event, so we had no idea what would happen. The superior of the Casa Santa Maria gave us our letters and said, "Expect disappointment, Good luck!" Even if we made it to the right area, if 30,000 other priests were there, even the best connected priests might be outside.

One American priest was a Master of Ceremonies, and so a real insider even at an event like this. He told his best friend early in the week, "Sorry, all bets are off." Only one American priest
in the house was guaranteed admission because his Cardinal was bringing him in; each Cardinal is allowed one assistant.

As a result of all this uncertainty, there were many plans made for going to the Vatican. One Polish priest in the house who was determined to be there had several visiting priests from Poland in his room. They slept on the floor for about two hours and walked to the Vatican at 1:00 AM. The monsignor who works at the CDF (Congregation for the Doctrine and Faith) had a reserved seat and guaranteed passage so he promised to take everyone over at 6:00 AM and at least get us past the guards. But as you can imagine, many thought that wouldn't be early enough, so another group decided to leave at 5:00 AM.

That night, I decided that I might go with the 5:00 AM group, since the worst would be that we met up with the 6:00 AM group at a checkpoint. I went to the tiny grocery store next door and tried to buy something for breakfast. I ended up packing two "sandwiches" of sweet croissants and salami, chocolate candy, hard candy, and a bottle of water. After all, between 5:00 AM and the end of the funeral would be 8 hours. I knew I couldn't drink anything in the morning to sit in one spot for 8 hours, but I could take a couple sips every hour when I got really thirsty.

As it turned out, I forgot to reset my alarm, and when I saw it was 5:25 AM, I realized I was going with the later group. We charged out into the streets of Rome at 6:00 AM with Monsignor Charles Guarino and our superior Monsignor Steven Raica in their purple and magenta robes and rest of us in black cassocks and backpacks.

The Italian authorities had learned from previous events. There were no vehicles in Rome all day, except police, ambulance, and buses. The entire area around Vatican City was closed to everyone until 6:00 AM and the City and Piazza were closed until 7:00 AM. Most of the four million visitors had already decided to view the event from one of the 28 remote locations. Even near the City, there were roadblocks, and only the purple robes and the Vatican ID got us through all the roadblocks up to the Piazza.

They opened the Piazza at 7:00, and as we lined up for the metal detectors, we discovered that everyone who left earlier were only a few people in front of us. After security, we were on the same schedule. Approaching the Piazza and going to our area, our letters were individually checked at least seven times, and a number of vested priests without letters ended up in the remote section for lay people. One of our house members who forgot his letter never convinced them and returned to the house for his letter.

As it turned out, we were in the same section of the Piazza with almost every other priest and monsignor at the Mass. Even the Vatican monsignors, although they had reserved seats, were in our section. Once again, I had a feeling that some terrible injustice was being done that I had such a good seat when so many loving Poles, even Polish clergy had traveled so far and loved the Pope so much and slept outdoors and stood in lines for up to twenty four hours, were not given the same access that we were. Well, as Sister Alphonsa said, God has his own reasons for these things.

The American priests were among the first into the area, and we staked out about three rows, half way back, right up against the central aisle, in hopes that the body and the cardinals would process up the central aisle. I am including two photos I found on the internet. In the main Piazza, you can see an enormous square of all white flecked with red. Those are the priests and monsignors, several thousand of us. I was second from the central aisle, in full red Byzantine vestments, so if you can find an exceptionally red dot half way back, two seats from the central aisle, you may imagine that it's me.


An enormous square of all white


An exceptionally red dot?


All my friends were convinced that I would make TV with our spectacular Byzantine vestments, but I don't think the cameras ever had a good angle. It's probably a little narcissistic to include all this at the papal funeral, but I'm trying to describe a first hand account, and with three hours to sit before the funeral, I guess everyone talked about all kinds of things.

As a matter of fact, most priests brought their breviary and prayed their office, but even that can take at most a half hour. And we were very very excited!

After a while, the politically important lay people started arriving. They were across the aisle from us, in the mostly black square you can see in the photos. Most of the American politicians were from the East Coast, and so I didn't recognize them, but my friends were eagerly trying to snap pictures. They walked across the front before entering the crowd. I did see Senators Kennedy, Leahy, and Kerry (on crutches). If you see a spot of white in that square, you may imagine you found Senator Kennedy. They mostly just walked to their square, but a cameraman had Senator Kennedy pose in front of the altar and he mugged for a few photos. How very strange is human nature that we form such strong opinions about people we have never met, often of intense contempt, scorn, or even hatred, and yet, if they are famous, at the first chance to be near them, we turn into little children waiting for Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny.

Here at the Casa Santa Maria we have a community of very wonderful Polish nuns who do a lot of work. One of them stopped me this morning and told me in glowing terms about the miracle yesterday. With four million visitors in town, and two million Poles, they never imagined that they would be present at St. Peter's for the Pope's funeral. However, yesterday the community walked to the Piazza and were admitted to the section around the obelisk. She was just radiant telling me, and kept repeating that it was a miracle.

Getting back to my own experience at the Mass, I feel like there isn't too much more to tell. I'm sure anyone who saw it on television saw things as well as I did and had more information than we did about what was happening. When the world leaders began to arrive, they were escorted out of the main door of St. Peter. I was able to recognize Prince Charles, and when I pointed him out to our English friend, he confirmed it, and he was able to track him through the seating process, although I lost track.

I was also able to spot Presidents Bush, Clinton, and Bush. In case you didn't, you would know something happened because every priest, politician, bishop, president, prince, and king was on their feet straining for a look. Only four men, we think from Iran, made a point of sitting through his entrance, but the other three hundred thousand people were craning their necks.

Later in the afternoon, I met a young man, an American seminarian, who sang in the choir. They were located in the inner porch. He made the comment that Clinton smiled and waved at all of them, but neither of the Bushes turned to look at them.

Father Anthony Brausch made the comment that the whole secular world was represented on one side of the platform, and the spiritual world on the other, and the body of John Paul in the middle brought them all together.

During the sermon, I got to thinking that it was probably the most important sermon since Peter preached on Pentecost Sunday two thousand years ago, and indeed I understand that two billion people were listening around the world. After reading it in English, I believe it was an excellent sermon and I hope everyone finds it on the internet and reads it in English if they haven't already.

We spent a total of seven hours walking and being there, leaving the house at 6:00 AM, the service ended at 12:45, and we didn't get home till about 1:30. Amazingly enough it seemed to fly by. There was one woman in the main aisle in a wheel chair who had an active little boy she was trying to control. I'm sure it seemed a lot longer than seven hours to her.

Overall, the Mass was as beautiful, as majestic, and as transcendentally powerful as one could possibly hope. Many of my friends commented that they thought the most beautiful part was the eastern part. The Patriarch of Constantinople led the singing along with all the eastern prelates, both Catholic and Orthodox, in a short Panachida. He sang in Greek and switched to Arabic at the end. It was the Hymns that begin "With the souls of the just brought to perfection..." Everyone at the Casa was so impressed, I am determined to type up an English translation to give to everyone here.

The weather was perfect. There was a cool breeze all morning and so no one was either too hot or too cold under the Italian sun. It would be hard to imagine anything that could be changed.

The last part of the service was the most emotional. When they began to remove the coffin, we all realized that it was our last farewell. I noticed priests all around me were wiping their eyes, trying to look as if they weren't crying. One priest near me cried so hard that he gave himself a headache.

One of priests, Father Al Baca, was asked some strange question in an interview (I can't remember the question) and told a reporter, "I guess it's just a reminder that when we die, we all die alone. Everyone on earth has to go through the same thing by himself and to face God alone." For some reason I remembered those words as they were preparing to take the coffin. After death, Karol Wojtyla has to face his judge and account for his time on earth just like the rest of us, no matter how we dress him up here on earth. We all pray for mercy for the Pope because the decisions he made affected so many people, and since we can't even judge our own souls, we can't judge his either, but can only ask God for mercy for him as we also hope God will be merciful with us.

As they carried the coffin around the altar and up the steps, there was no one in the Piazza who wasn't crying. And then when they stopped and turned around for one last goodbye, most of the people waved goodbye with one hand while wiping their eyes with the other. Finally, the coffin disappeared through the giant central door, and we were left in the Piazza with only memories of the Holy Father and a overpowering feeling of spiritual presence.

God bless you all.
Father Kurt

Pain not care

Just finished watching the Newshour with Jim Leher, and they had this story about homelessness in San Francisco. One in 87 people there (I think I got the numbers right) is homeless, which makes sense since it has some of the highest housing costs in the country. Well, the mayor decided to reduce individual benefits from over $400 a month to $59 and use the saved money to provide "care not cash." It does appear to have helped some people, but it clearly caused a lot of pain for a lot of others. And not surprisingly, it is being praised by the Bush Administration, which is watching the San Francisco "experiment."

Right. My rhetorical question then is, why is it important to give the rich "their money back" for them to use as they see fit, but the poor can't be trusted to use money as they see fit?

I shudder to think of them doing that with my SSI benefits. At the moment I use student loans to pay my rent and SSI to pay for treatment like acupuncture and medication that Medicaid does not cover. If they decided to give "care not cash," I'd be in a whole world of hurt.

Even worse than the pain I'm in at the moment because I need to increase my Neurontin dose, but can't afford anymore than what I'm already on.

Needless to say, I'm quite cranky today and could't help but shout out obscenties and flip-off the television set when that damn Pfizer corporate sponsor ad came on at the end of the Newshour.

My random ramblings about the funeral

I almost forgot to watch the funeral last night, or rather, early this morning because I was too busy getting annoyed with Blogger. By the time I finally remembered to turn the television on, they were reading the Epistle. Sorta like about the time I usually arrive for Divine Liturgy. ;)

It was amazing to see that tiny cypress coffin in the midst of so many, many people. To see all the world leaders of all different faiths. Old rabbis. Yogis. Imams and mullahs. The world's supposedly most powerful man, George W. Bush, just another of those in attendence (was it me, or did it seem like he still had that damn smirk of his everytime the camera panned to him?).

There is something about Cardinal Ratzinger's eyes that always give me the creeps, and when he wasn't wearing his glasses during the Mass, they still did. Yet, he also seemed so much older and more frail. And clearly hurting as he gave the homily in rememberance of his friend.

As it came time for the Eucharist, all I kept thinking was, how on earth are they going to give communion to so many people? It felt like when Jesus fed the five thousand. But there were something like, four million people. True, not all of them were at the Basilica. But, crikey, (yeah, I'm picking up British slang from my boyfriend) that's a lot of wafers!

Watching it being given was one of the most profound pictures of Mark 4:30-32 that I could ever imagine seeing in my life.

"Then He said, "To what shall we liken the kingdom of God? Or with what parable shall we picture it? It is like a mustard seed which, when it is sown on the ground, is smaller than all the seeds on earth; but when it is sown, it grows up and becomes greater than all herbs, and shoots out large branches, so that the birds of the air may nest under its shade."

It made me appreciate just what a horrible medium television is for Mass. I ached to be there to have communion as well and watching it on my 13 inch screen made me feel so left out.

This may sound like a really silly, child-like revelation, but as Cardinal Ratzinger talked about John Paul's relationship with God in the homily, it felt so odd to think that God is so intimate with so many people. My reality can be so egocentric as the intimacy I have with God is usually just between me and Him and maybe a few others in my immediate world. But He has that intimacy with billions of other people as well. It's staggering. Something that I experience at church was brought out into the open with commentary from Katie Couric and Brian Williams. Hmm. And like a child, I'm not even sure I know how to articulate that feeling very well.

And just when I started thinking to myself that this was so heavily Latin (yes, I know, he was the Bishop of Rome, but I still can't help but associate an organ with Protestant services) out came the Patriarchs of the Eastern Churches. When they chanted the litany in Greek, it finally really felt like home for me. Though, it sounded like the translation of the litany was wrong. I don't know Greek, but I do recognize Christos annesti, and I never heard the translator say "Christ is risen" though I heard Christos annesti many times. And it even sounded like part of it was in Arabic. But, the way that part of the funeral is being reported is so absolutely minimal and, well, frankly so traditionally Orientalist. I cannot find even a list of the Patriarchs' names through Google. They are just those "colorfully clad eastern Catholic patriarchs."

I think the thing that was so amazing about this funeral was just all the people. With all their flags -- Polish, Brazilian, French, even Palestinian(!), -- with all their clapping from love and respect, with all their chanting -- Santo Sorbito and Magnus. This was something that just simply doesn't happen in every lifetime. Particularly a lifetime in a supposedly secular, postmodern world.

The personal stories

Well, my blood pressure got a much needed boost this afternoon in my Israel/Palestine in Film class.

Z., an Israeli who fought in the 1948 war, spoke to our class about his experiences. However, he spent a bit more time presenting his version of the political events that led up the 1948. How the British were trying to make the best of a dreadful situation, providing infrastructure and economic development. How they cut off immigration to Palestine during the Holocaust. How the Arabs didn’t accept the partition plans that were far more generous than what they will get now. How six Arab countries attacked. How there is the whole Arab world for the Palestinians (a term he rarely used, using the generic “Arab” instead) to go to. How the Arabs just wanted the Jews out.

Yes, the British provided economic development, but the indigenous population didn’t have any control over what was happening, and without control, all the rest of the stuff doesn’t matter. I remember how when I first started reading about the Middle East in high school and learned that the British gave the Hashemite family of Makkah the countries of Jordan and Iraq as thanks for helping in WWI, I thought, in my naïve adolescent way, how can you just give a country to someone? I mean, there are people in that country. Shouldn’t the people in the country decide? It’s irrelevant that the Palestinians didn’t accept the Partition plans in 1937 or 1947 or 1967. Who gave the British, or the United Nations the right to decide who got the country? What about the people living there?

And why was Palestine expected to absorb the Jews fleeing the Holocaust? Harry Truman in 1947 said that 100,000 refugees should be admitted to Palestine. But why not the United States? I mean, land-wise, the United States seems a much better choice. Made me think of when FDR went to talk to ‘Abd al-Aziz Ibn Saud, the founder of Saudi Arabia, about setting up a Jewish state. ‘Abd al-Aziz looked at FDR and said, “and who is losing the war?” FDR replied, “well, the Germans and the Italians.” So ‘Abd al-Aziz then asked, “so, why don’t you give them Germany and Italy?”

Yes, why not Germany and Italy? Why not give them back the homes they lost in Europe with proper compensation? Wouldn’t that be the truly honorable thing to do rather than dump them all in some tiny little piece of land among a hostile indigenous population far from where they lived for generations?

Several Arab countries for their own (i.e. not the Palestinians’) political aspirations did attack the State of Israel in 1948, but during the arms embargo during the armistice, it was the Haganah that smuggled weapons in from Czechoslovakia while the Egyptians disarmed their army along with irregular Palestinian fighters.

And isn’t saying that the Palestinians have all those other Arab countries to go to a little like saying the French have all those other European countries to go to?

Not that I didn’t appreciate his visit. Once Z. started talking about his own personal experience, I was on the edge of my seat. And I think that’s really the point. It’s the personal stories that are becoming more and more important to hear. They complicate history. While I think historians are important to have because they give the big picture that the individual can’t see, too often they are used to invalidate personal experiences. We so desperately need everyone’s story.

Though, it wasn’t a story many in the class were eager to hear. I remember how on the first day of class the professor went around the room and asked people about where they get their news. All of them, without fail, read liberal/Left/progressive news sources, whether they were Jewish, Arab, or American mutts like me. So, when the professor introduced the speaker today, he implored the class to be respectful of the speaker as he may or may not have views that they agreed or disagreed with but had taken time out of his busy day to speak to our class. Well, once question time opened up, it was all “Why didn’t you talk about the Palestinians?” “Didn’t you know what was happening?” Even “How many people did you murder?”

I think I needed a bottle of Maalox by that point.

The professor, of course, cut it off there. Reminded everyone that the focus on who is the biggest victim or the biggest terrorist really does not add anything to the discussion. It does nothing to help the situation. It just leaves people upset and angry.

Indeed.

Yes, I think it’s the personal stories we need. When Z. began talking about his experiences, I no longer saw him as this bourgeois professor with his glasses around his neck and upper class British accent giving a very false sense of sympathy to the Palestinians who he displaced. I saw him as the scared eighteen-year-old boy with no citizenship after immigrating from Poland to Britain in order to avoid Auschwitz, fighting for some sort of identity. That is when I can have empathy. That is when he becomes human rather than an Other, an Enemy, another faceless actor in history. To use the old cliché, that is when we appreciate the beauty of the cottonwood or the elm or the Douglas Fir, rather than just the scary, dark forest.

Report from Rome: III

This is the latest report from Father Kurt we've received. I didn't think about the fact that they hadn't embalmed the Pope's body. Having that detail from Father Kurt made it all the more interesting.

********

I better make this a short report.
It is late evening, and everyone is leaving very early
to try to attend the funeral Mass on Friday.

Christ is Risen!

During this past week,the Vatican has allowed any priest to come
concelebrate at a Mass in St. Peter's at the Chair of Peter altar.
That is the altar directly behind the main altar with the famous stained glass window of the Holy Spirit.

There have been Masses at 8, 10:30 and 5PM every day.
I went to the 8 AM Mass today because I was afraid
that it might be more difficult later, or they might
even change the rules later today.

Father Bohdan Danylo, a Ukrainian priest from
Stamford Eparchy accompanied me with a few other
Americans. He and I were the only Eastern priests.
About two hundred priests concelebrated with five
bishops.

The chief celebrant was the Bishop of Monterrey,
Mexico. He preached a very long sermon. The people who
understand Italian very well said it was too long,
but for me it was wonderful. It gave me a long time
to sit quietly and daydream in that beautiful place.
Even though vast crowds were being ushered rather
quickly through the nave of the Basilica by the
body of the Holy Father, it was amazingly quiet in
that church, with only the sound of the Mass and
the very beautiful music. They used incense which
rose in that vast heights, and the early sun was
streaming through the upper windows. It is hard
to imagine anything more beautiful. Everywhere
you look there is beauty and holiness in there.

After the Mass, we had the opportunity to stand
or pray by the body separate from the rapidly moving
crowds. They did not embalm the Holy Father and
by now his face was rather black. Nearly all the
cardinals were at the tomb of St. Peter, praying beside the body
of John Paul before their Thursday morning session.

To enter for the Mass, we came in through the
"sacristy", a building larger than most churches
which is attached to the Basilica by an elevated
walkway. They closed that exit just before
I was leaving, so I left with a friend through
the front of the Basilica with the other mourners.
It was quite wonderful to end up on the front
porch of St. Peter's where you could look
out over the Piazza and the Conciliazione (the main
street)with it's vast river of people snaking towards the
church.

We realized that those people crossing the Piazza
had been in line for fifteen hours or more,
and it reminded me how privileged I have been
to be close to the Holy Father when several million
people have traveled so far, and won't have what I
have.They say there are three thousand trains coming from
Poland.

Last night I walked down to see the crowds at night.
There were three separate places to start the line.
The longest crossed the river and went up the
river past the Palace of Justice. They said they
would seal the end of the line at 10:00 and
bus after bus of Poles were pulling up, with
teenagers running through the streets with
backpacks to make the line before it was sealed.
It was actually a little dangerous to be in their way.

Today, the Vatican provided the North American College
with some "Notazione" to admit priests to the
Mass tomorrow. The superior had a lottery to
assign them. Some priests are leaving at
5:00 AM. Others are leaving at 6:00 AM with
a Monsignor who works in the Vatican.
A Polish priest in our house is catching a couple
of hours of sleep right now, and going over
just after midnight. One priest says that at the
beatification of Mother Theresa, he went at
6:00 AM and couldn't get near any of the
entrances to the Vatican. There are many
more people here now. Whatever happens
tomorrow, everyone will have a great story to
tell!

Father Kurt Burnette

(Note: Blogger was down yesterday so it didn't post this then...grrrr)

Our man on the street

Here is the newest report from Father Kurt that we got by email this morning:

"I’m writing on the morning of Tuesday, April 5.
Monday was spent with people trying to visit the body
of the Holy Father. Most people here assume that it
will be impossible later in the week since the
government was already planning for one to two million
visitors by Sunday. The estimates are even higher
today. One of the priests here managed to get into
the Clementine Hall with a professor from his
University. The only people allowed in generally were
members of the Roman curia and groups with
appointments. All the Pontifical colleges (like mine)
were allowed to make appointments for their groups,
but the North American College did not make an
appointment.

It seems that it has been so long since
a pope died that many people here do not know the
procedures. Yesterday afternoon, a story spread
through the house like lightning that if a priest went
to the bronze doors with a surplice, he could be in
the procession when they moved the body from the
Clementine Hall to the Basilica. I decided not to go,
but a few minutes later, Father Michael Champagne
called on the phone and encouraged me to go, those few
minutes made all the difference. Father Michael and I
and another priest set out trying to get to the bronze
doors by 4:30. We took a bus, but soon realized that
the bus was no faster than walking. Already yesterday
there were so many buses added that a bus leaves every
minute or so from the train station, “Termini” to St.
Peter’s. The 64 bus is called the “pick pocket
express”. I wouldn’t mention this piece of gossip
except that I have met personally several Americans in
the past few weeks who lost their possessions, several
on the 64. If you plan to come here, protect yourself
from pickpockets. We got off the bus about two thirds
of the way, and began to walk. We went down the main
street, but found ourselves in the enclosed crowd that
would be allowed into the Basilica later. Father
Champagne pulled one of his amazing feats by getting
us out of the crowd with the little ID’s we are given
by the Vatican which are only to give us faculties for
the Diocese of Rome. Father Champagne then got us
through an amazing number of checkpoints and blockades
by rushing up with the ID and talking in Italian. He
got as far as the bronze doors, but we were a couple
of minutes too late. We were allowed into the section
for clergy and religious which was by the porch. Then
my friends got the idea that we could convince the
guards to let us join the procession as it went by,
Father Champagne did some more fast talking, but they
changed guards to one who was a lot firmer.

We stood there at the fence as all of our friends processed by,
but in fact everything worked out better than we could
have asked. We were as close as you could possibly be
to the procession, after the seminarians, priests,
monsignors, and bishops (seemed like a thousand), we
were arms length from all the cardinals and then the
Holy Father’s body as it slowly passed by. At the
moment, the cardinals are like media figures to us,
but it is sobering to think that one of the men who
walked by is probably the next successor to Peter.

Everyone is doing everything they can now to get
tickets to the funeral Mass on Friday. Since there
may be up to two million people at the Mass, it may
not be possible to be within a mile of the Piazza
without a ticket. People all over Rome are storming
the offices of the Vatican with every conceivable
story asking for tickets. Word spread through the
house that one of our priests had it on good
information that if we showed up at the right office
with a letter saying we are from a Pontifical
University, we can get tickets for seating for
priests. I decided to join the sortie, and Father
Shawn already had the letter on his laptop, to he
generously printed one with my name on official
stationery. About twenty priests headed for the
Vatican.

It turned out that Father Pawel really did
know his way around. Despite half a million people in
line, and enormous crowds on all the streets, he
convinced one check point after another to let us
through, often going up stream. Finally we made it to
the bronze doors, and the Swiss guards. Father Pawel
and another priest talked to the ticket office for
about fifteen minutes, convincing one official after
another to call higher up. To no avail. We left with
no tickets. Although our house is usually gossip
free, Tuesday night, everyone in the house had a
different story of why we didn’t have tickets, and who
was to blame. Then today, we were told that we have
thirty tickets for people to distribute communion,
with 58 signed up, so the superior will have a drawing
to award the thirty tickets.

As I’m writing this on Wednesday, there are ONE
MILLION people in line to see the body of the Holy
Father. Almost everyone in line is young. The wait
is now 14 to 15 hours. They are planning to close the
line tonight so that anyone in line can get through by
Thursday night, and the Vatican can prepare for the
Mass on Friday.

They are expecting two million people from Poland
alone. The Polish airline that flies three times a
week from Warsaw to Rome is flying every three hours.
Every charter bus in Poland is on the way, and trains
are full. The city has added so many buses from the
train station (Termini) that they are bumper to
bumper. Most of the buses to St. Peter’s are free at
the moment, that is, no charge. The government has
brought in the army and is erecting tents and other
conveniences in open fields throughout the city.
Giant TV screens are being set up at public areas like
the Circus Maximus, a place where so many Christians
died for the faith two thousand years ago. Workers
hand out free bottled water to anyone in line and
ambulances are parked everywhere. I wonder if you
collapse in the line if you get a ticket to start
again at the same place.

Today I found out that priests can show up at St.
Peter’s today or tomorrow for Mass in St. Peter’s at
the altar in the apse. It is called the Chair of
Peter Altar. The main altar is over the bones of
Peter called the “confessional”. Behind that there is
a stainglass window of the Holy Spirit which you have
probably seen in photos. There is also a bronze chair
under the window which encases the wooden chair which
was Peter’s according to tradition. Several priests
from our house went there today. I plan to go in the
morning with the other Ukrainian priest in our house,
Father Bohdan, to join in a concelebrated mass at 8:30
in the morning.

I’m starting to realize that Pope John Paul II may
have been the greatest pope in the past thousand
years. We have had many great popes in terms of their
influence in the world or the church. But in the last
thousand years, the only one as important who was also
a saint is St. Pius V. It is becoming more and more
clear that John Paul was a saint and will be canonized
in record time. Stories of miracles are already
circulating everywhere. I am really grateful to God
for the grace to have spent all my years as a priest
with this pope, to have bishops appointed by him, to
have seen him in person, to have concelebrated with
him, and to be in the eternal city for his falling
asleep and his funeral.

Father Kurt